Take time...

to tell your loved ones how much you truly love and appreciate them.

The Two Roles in Love

Most, if not all, people in this world want to find their other half, you know, the one that completes them…however, there is a period of time before that person comes along and the way I see, there are two roles one could play during that period of wait time:

The one loving/chasing: you’re in love, or feel like you’re in love, with someone. Unrequited.

The one loved/chased: unknowingly, or knowingly, you are the apple of someone else’s eye.

I feel like everyone, yes, just about everyone, has played both roles at one time or another and oftentimes has played both roles simultaneously!

The problem is...I find that it’s a lose-lose situation. If you are the one loving/chasing…well, I don’t need to explain the heartache of unrequited love. However, if you are the one loved/chased… it’s not like you have it easy either. Without knowing it, you are probably hurting the person who is chasing you. You could simply be doing what you are doing, talking to who you are talking to…and there’s someone thinking about you and interpreting all your actions and words. Since they are the one loving…well, now that just brings us back to the heartache of the one chasing, doesn't it?

There's no easy solution, well, there's no solution at all, is there? Not one I can see. It's a part of life...This common human phenomenon happens to all of us and we just have to ride it out. No matter what role we are playing... we just have to keep moving forward and do what we gotta do. Sometimes I find it's easier to try to think about what the other person is going through.... don't get mad at the person for not returning your love, just be there for them, because after all, isn't that what you do for those you love? And if you are being chased, be conscientious and be a good friend, don't take advantage.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make... Maybe I just wanted to point out that one is oftentimes playing both roles and you will be hurting ...but when it hurts the most...believe that the pain will pass, believe that you will retire from these roles in our own time, believe that you will find someone that will make all these silly roles irrelevant.

"If you are lonely, be patient."

~How to be Alone

Thoughts on “What Is The Right Thing To Do”

People, I included, spend so much time on deciding “what is the right thing to do.”

Some scenarios:

+ A guy/girl likes a person and he/she does not know if they should confess their feelings. (What if she/he doesn’t like me? What if she/he does? What if the confession changes our relationship? What if, what if?)

+ It’s the holiday season and I am doing holiday shopping. There’s always that one or two friends that you don’t really know if you are exchanging presents this year or not and you don’t really feel like buying them a present. (But…what if they got you a present? What if they get upset that you didn’t get them anything? But if you do get them something, what if they didn’t get you anything, would you be upset? Would it have been a waste of money?)

+ You have only such limited time in a day and you know who you would want to spend it with but you have other friends that bug you about not hanging out with them enough. (Should you spread your time evenly amongst your friends regardless of how much you want to spend time with them? Which is worse? You depriving of your fun or having your fun and possibly making someone else feel bad?)

and the list can go on! So many “What if” situations and difficult decisions. But see, I’ve come to realize they don’t have to be so difficult. The simple answer is always: Do What You Want To Do.
Ask yourself, what do I want?

Do you want her to know your feelings? If yes, then Tell her. Yes, you’ll have to deal with the consequences, but aren’t there always consequences to an action? No matter how safe you play the game, there are consequences to every action taken and every action not taken. But, think: aren’t the consequences easier to deal when you’ve done something you wanted instead of preventing yourself from doing something you wanted due to who knows what you were thinking?

Who’s to say the results are better either way? How would you know without having done anything? Would you rather spend your life regretting what you “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, but didn’t?” or KNOW that you did what you wanted and all the rest is/was out of your hands. At times like those, you just gotta roll with the punches.

The moral of the story: Life is short. You can’t know what everyone else wants or how to help them achieve what they want, so worry about what YOU want. What makes you happy? When you figure that out, just do it.

*Disclaimer: Do what you want within boundaries of not hurting anyone; nothing that will greatly negatively effect their wellbeing (hurting someone’s feelings by not buying them a present is very different from killing someone.)*

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To answer the above scenarios:

Confess your feelings, if it works out, it works out. If not, you’ll find someone else with whom it will work out with.

Spend your money on people you want; people whom you’ll be glad to have given presents to regardless if they gave you presents or not. Isn’t that what giving presents is all about?

Spend your time, which is even more precious than money, on people you want. You can’t please everyone, so please yourself and ones you love.

The xkcd that says it all.

Thoughts on Friendship

Over the years, I've had lots of conversations about the treasured concept of "friendship." (Not to mention the countless personal encounters with it.) What is it? What is real? What will last? What is "true friendship?"

I can't say I've come to any real conclusions...but here's a theory in the works:

We are all living our own lives and we all have our own goals and plans for ourselves and the world we live in. Along the way of our life, we meet people that are living their lives as well. Sometimes, 2 people's lives collide and they form a relationship of some sort, any sort (friendship, romantic, etc) and the healthy ones are where both people benefit. But the thing is, in the end, we are all living our own lives and sometimes we meet people whose lives will stay parallel to ours for years to come but sometimes, we meet people that are amazing but our relationships are short and sweet....and... that's ok. I think this is a piece of life that people have to come to terms with sometime in their lifetime.

Having a Best friend doesn't necessarily mean they’ll be with you for a lifetime and they’re not forever perfect. What it does mean is that you have someone in your life that you share a very strong connection and bond with, a connection/bond that you don’t share with any other person in your life. They understand you, support you, love you for who you are. But the sad thing is, there is never a guarantee they’ll be in your life forever. Some are, some aren’t. You’re lucky if you have someone to call a best friend right now, that’s more than a lot of people can say. But you know what, if they leave you, you found one, you can find another. People come and go in our lives and some touch you for a brief moment and you’ll never see them again, some last a lifetime… regardless of how long the relationship lasts, it’s what happens while they’re in your life that counts.

The important thing is to remember the good & focus on the good…and be thankful for all the good that did come out of your relationships. Different people move us along in life…each unique and wonderful in their own way.

Hold on to your treasured friendships, hold onto those special people in your lives. But, don't hold on too tight, for if they want to go, let them go, for this is where the parallel ends.

Cherish every person, every moment. Always.

Oh, let met introduce myself.

Oh yea! I should probably introduce myself & this site. =)

This blog, whenever I feel the urge to post in it, will be full of my personal experiences in life, my observations about the world, thoughts and ramblings that I feel the need to share with someone out there on the internet.

I have thought about writing a book....with "Wise Words from My Mom", so maybe I'll post them on here first before I attempt to publish something (in the physical world at least).

So, get ready, I might not post often....but I can assure you that that whenever I do, it'll be meaningful (I'd like to think so).

Why "God" is in most people's Acceptance speeches.

Sometimes, when you least expects it, something good, very very good happens to you. You're in such disbelief that you look up and say "thank YOU!" Now, you might not be especially religious but at times...you feel like someone, someone with more power than you have, is looking out for you; you feel elated and feel the urge to give credit where credit is due.

 

There are some things that are just out of your control, no matter how much you try to be a good person, to live a good life, but nevertheless you cannot control the weather, the actions of others, and the twists and turns of events that happen every day, whether it is affecting your life directly or not. So when the things out of your control align just right....just right so that something great happens to You, you of all people, you. And that's when you think "Thank God" because how else could such great things happen to you? 

So today, I Thank God for granting me one of my wishes. =)